Noble Giving

I went to the symphony recently.  I flipped through the program and came across the recognition section that listed donors and their contribution category.  Holding the position of prominence was the list of those few who had donated in excess of $250,000 within a one-year period.  The list was only about 5 names long.  On the top of that list, that was arranged alphabetically, was Anonymous.

That impressed me.  Someone gave over a quarter of a million dollars and was not, by choice, recognized by name.  That is unexpected and yet it rings of a noble kind of giving.

Noble giving is often replaced by petty giving.  Petty referring to how and not what is given.  The difference is in how it is said.  The former is, “I gave money to the symphony.” The latter is, “I gave money to the symphony.”  One type focus on the giver while the other on the recipient.

As a result of living in a capitalistic economy we act based on certain expectations.  One of those expectations has to do with transactions.  When we expend energy, effort or time we expect remuneration.  We expect to earn.  We go to work principally to earn money, but there are other types of earning, and they are the types that are usually the strings that we attach to the things we do for others.  We expect payment in recognition, love, future favors, leverage, promotion of a certain image, and many other subtle but harmful ways.  The giving stops being about the recipient and becomes about the giver.  It is done not for what will be done for the receiver but for the giver, and that is petty.  Noble giving is when the recipient is the focus, their joy, improved station or satisfaction is paramount and the giver is simply a footnote.

Because we have all, to some degree, bought in the idea that nothing is really free, even if someone gives it mentality we have problems expressing gratitude.  We receive something and wish to say thank you in proportion, to immediately give back to balance the account, to pay off the giving.  Sometimes a simple, heartfelt thank you is all that is needed.

The never ending, public thank you and credit giving can be tedious to a noble giver and prevent future giving.
Sometimes the best expression of gratitude is a simple and sincere thank you.

This idea of giving also extends to the less than tangible realm of compliments.  Here, as in few other ways, the strings are very easily felt.  Pay someone a compliment and watch as they flounder for an appropriate response.  They may be suspicious, they may deny the compliment or return in kind.  What is rare is the simple heartfelt expression in to little words, thank you.

As with many things in life it comes down to a choice.  I chose nobility over pettiness.